- I've got the munchies.
- Oh, what can I say?
It's been an education.
But two victims, Quebecois.
One witness, dead, Quebecois.
One killer - I'm guessing, wild one now - Quebecois.
So, bye-bye. Tell Suzie I'll emaiI her.
- What's your deaI with Suzie? You've only seen her twice!
- You Quebecois are all the same. You got some lunatic
who's gone nuts over a hockey team that doesn't exist anymore.
And you with Suzie? "Je me souviens. "
You're living in the past. You got to get over it.
- Yeah, well, at least we're alive,
not like you and your freakin' queen and her fucked-up children -
one of whom stole your wife, by the way.
- Did anyone call a taxi for the airport?
- Your lift is here. - I did.
- Can I take your suitcase? - No, thanks, I'll be right there.
- But you're right about one thing,
The only piece in this story that doesn't fit is you,
so bye-bye.
- Tune in to my pre-game show later tonight.
We're gonna talk about these rumours
that a major Canadian team is moving south,
which really pisses me off!
All of you know I hate Montreal! I hate the team!
But what's the point of hating Montreal if they're in Houston?
Also we have a big surprise guest for you: Mr. Pickleton.
You don't want to miss this, because I won't miss you!
- You seen anything like this?
I can't believe it. - You've got to be kidding.
- Recognize her?
- I think I recognize the lunatic who did it.
- Martin! - Where you think you're going?
- Get your hands off me, asshole.
- Oh, say it isn't so.
- I'm a cop. - You can't pass.
- I know that guy over there. That's my friend, Martin!
Hey, it's me!
Tell these guys to let me through.
- Okay, you can go. - It's okay, he works for me.
Hey, hi, how are you?
Hello...
- He's from Quebec. - Ah.
- Did you miss me?
- Show him.
- Tabarnac.
Well, you could say he's a hell of a skater.
It's a Quebec hockey expression.
You know who she is, right?
- Martina Flabcheeks. Thanks.
- The first female hockey agent.
Her first client was Quebec's 1st pick in '95,
but he never signed with them. Everyone thought it was his decision,
but it was his parents and her.
She wanted him to play in Toronto...
but he ended up in the States.
- Well that makes perfect sense. Of course she deserves to die.
She wouldn't let her client play in Quebec 10 years ago.
I suppose some people still aren't over the Plains of Abraham.
Incidentally, aren't you supposed to be speaking English?
- Where's the tattoo?
- Right here.
- Hmm. Who's next?
The client?
- He's safe. He's under guard in a New York hospitaI.
When we phoned him to give him the bad news,
he fell to the ground, got a concussion.
- Again?
- Hold her skirt. - What?
- Hold up her skirt. You should be good at that.
Good.
Okay. So Brisset screwed Therrien, who played for the Fleur de Lys,
so he gets a fleur de Iys with two scales on either side.
Grossbut sells the team to Colorado,
so he gets a mountain tattoo
with two eights replacing the first two Os in Colorado.
Flabcheeks's star player's number.
He's been playing us from the beginning. The tattoo isn'tjust his signature.
It's a clue to his next victim.
- And 88 goes to Philadelphia.
- Philadelphia...
With two missing letters.
L. A.
- L.A. Los Angeles.
- The best player in the world.
- The Great One.
- Or the one who sold him.
- Okay, this is the situation that I find myself in.
It's not bad enough that MontreaI is leading our team 3-2 in this series,
but right now I have a guest, Mr. Pickleton, who has not shown up.
And why? Because some lunatic
is out there killing members of the hockey community.
- Pickleton's in the building. His limo's here. He must be on his way.
- Did you talk to security? - If they see anything,
they'll call me. - Shh! Shh!
- What about the cowards that want to abolish fighting in hockey
and make hockey look like golf.
I say we go after them! While we're at it,
why don't we allow Annika Soren-what's-her-not
and some of her chick golfer friends to lace up the skates
and go play for the MontreaI Patriotes
in time for the playoffs.
What's the big deaI?
They only make the playoffs once every 5 years.
What?
Can you believe this?
My director is now asking me to talk about last night's game and to stretch,
because our no-show guest Mr. Pickleton,
a man who I have waited over a decade
to ask straight up why in God's name he would sell
the world's greatest hockey player out from under us,
apparently, he's in danger!
Boo-hoo!
And I've got two cops in the corner who won't tell me a thing
about this lunatic. Can we see these cops?
Can we get a shot of them? Hi, guys. How you doin'?
So maybe you have something to say on the subject, so call in
and talk to me on the air and tell me what you think about...
The Tattoo Killer.
- What? - And cut!
90 seconds! Make-up!
- Mr. Berry, I'm sure you know yourjob-
- Don't tell me how to do my job.
- You can't talk about the killer on the air.
We don't want to provoke him. And branding him "The Tattoo Killer,"
that's publicity, just what these guys want.
- I can talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about,
because I have a lot of time I have to fill.
Can someone please get this fruit away from me?
- Okay, thank you. Bye-bye.
Tom, you good? Coffee? Yes?
- No, I don't have a guest! How am I good?
- Can someone find him a guest, please?
Okay, people, we're back in 5, 4, 3...
- Welcome back.
We have two very speciaI guests in the studio
to talk about... The Tattoo Killer!
With us from Ontario, Detective Martin Ward,
and from MontreaI, David Bouch...
Boucha...
Boucherville, Bouchie...
One of these French names I always screw up.
Men, are you any closer to getting this jerk?
- Well, Tom, I don't think we can say categorically that he is a jerk.
What we do know is that he works very fast.
And though we don't want to sound alarmist,
we think it would be a good idea
if those people in the hockey community were carefuI.
- CarefuI?
What does that mean?
- Well, to respond to your question,
Tom, uh...
the best way to be prudent would be to change
your hapitudes.
- Your habitubes?
- Habits, Tom.
That's a good point, David.
The killer seems to know the habits of all his victims
and is using that knowledge to capture them.
So it might be a good idea to change your routine.
- Yeah, what I'm wondering is,
why do we have a French cop
on our turf? I mean,
is this killer not challenging enough for you?
- Keep it up and you'll regret wearing those ugly ties.
- Come again?
- He just said: "What a sharp dresser you are!"
- No, I said go on with your stupid comments about me
and you'll regret those ties.
- You want a piece of me?
- Are you hitting on me?
- Tom, caller on line 1!
- Okay, apparently we have a caller on the air
who has some very important information.
Caller, you're on the air. What's your name, please?
- Tattoo Killer.
- Ha-ha. Very funny, but we just don't have the time.
- You have a problem with my quest, Tom?
You think you can do better?
You think I'm just a jerk?
- I don't think you're a jerk, I think you're a flake or a fake.
- Shut the fuck up.
Mr. Pickleton is getting his tattoo now.
- Let me talk to him.
Unfortunately, Detective Ward,
Mr. Pickleton can't come to the phone right now.
He was moving too much
and it was impossible to make a nice tattoo.
And by the way...
sorry about your car, David.
- Sir, we're going to hang up now. If you'd like to talk to us,
we're going to give you a number that you can call us at.
- Don't you fucking hang up on me!
I know your names and faces.
So don't worry, if I wanna talk to you...
...believe me,
I'll find you.
- Hang up the phone. - I don't think so.
- You're either with me or against me. - Watch it, frog!
- You are trying to stop me in my heroic attempt
to save our nationaI sport.
When I get finished with all the moneygrubbers and scumbags
who sold our game to Americans, who couldn't care less...
- Stand back! - ... about the art of hockey,
I'll come after you
and those two cops and everyone else who gets in my way!
If you think I'm going to let my game
become less important than bowling
because of a couple of rich-
Fuck!
- Listen to me, you sick fuck. You want to talk, call me.
514-555-5594.
- Ah!
- Pickleton can't be too far from the limo.
- If he's still in the building.
Hello? - David?
You want to talk to me?
- Keep him talking.
- Yeah. What will you do with him?
- Let's just say...
...I'm going to leave him on ice.
- On ice? - He's on Bouchard's cellphone.
Try and trace the call.
I don't care! Just trace it! - Don't you speak French?
- When I feeI like it. And now I don't.
- I'm understand everything you've done, except for Benoît Brisset.
Why him?
- He's the one who loved Colorado so much.
- How come you have such a strong accent in English and French?
Who was your teacher? Jean Chrétien?
Funny. ReaI funny.
Time's up.
- Fuck.
- It's the police! We'll get you out.
- It's unlocked.
Tattoo gear.
Easy, easy.
- You all right?
- I'm fine, thanks.
- Who are you?
- I drive the Zamboni.
- Where is it?
- Down there. - Let's go.
- Take care of this, guys.
Police! Freeze! - Shit!
- Shit. Go, I got Pickleton!
Hey, come here! I need some help!
- Fuck!
- Police! Out of the way!
- Hey! Whoa!
- Police! Out of the way!
- You fucking Frenchies! You run like you drive!
- Out of the way!
Ah!
Ah...
- Excuse me! Police!
Excuse me. Excuse me.
You okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
- Easy, easy.
We know Pickleton sold 99 to L.A. And here we have the U.S. dollar sign
and a big apple which brings us to New York.
- You're sure it's New York?
- Well, New York money for sure.
- I don't know.
There's nothing Canadian about it.
- Call the New York FBI to warn them
a maniac might be headed their way.
- Maybe we should go down there.
- Why? You gonna burn down the Empire State Building?
Blow up Times Square? - He's prejudiced,
isn't he? - What did he say?
- Just ignore him. What do you want us to do?
- Work with what you got.
As long as there's no body bags in my territory,
I don't give a shit.
- Talk about a shitty week.
If he's going south, there's nothing we can do about it.
I'll probably lose my job over this.
Lost my car...
The good news is, it can't get any worse.
- You're right.
Let's get out of here.
You want to come home for dinner?
- Why not.
- Don't do me any favours.
Can you hand me an endive, please?
Aha! Rosemary.
Endive. Endive, s'il vous pla¡t.
- This? - Yes, that's it.
- The guest room is ready.
- Thanks. Would you set the table, please?
- Do you have any beer?
- I don't, but I might have some cognac.
- Aunt Iris bought some yesterday. It's in the fridge.
- All right, so where's this hunk who saved my big brother?
- Aunt Iris, this is David.
David, this is Aunt Iris. - Okay...
Um... just Iris is good.
- Enchantay, Just Iris.
- Enchantay to you!
- Ah!
It's nothing.
- Are you adopted?
- 'Cause you can see the difference?
- Want a beer? - Thank you, baby.
- Maybe Toronto isn't so bad after all!
- I don't know what that means.
It means he wants to have sex with you.
- Come on, it must've hurt.
- No. Itjust felt, like, this big electric shock.
I was waiting to die.
But nothing. No pain.
Huh, Martin? Isn't it true?
If the bullet goes right through,
it can take up to 10 minutes
before you start to feeI any pain.
- I usually try to solve most of my cases without getting shot.
- What happened to the guy who shot you?
- I shot back. He was dead before he hit the ground.
But because of the bleeding, I started to feeI, uh...
étourdi.
- Dizzy. - Dizzy, that's it.
So I'm, like, "Okay, let's go outside,
get some fresh air and wait for the back-up. "
So I handcuff the dead guy,
head for the backyard. - That seems almost cautious.
- What?
- Handcuffing the dead guy.
- Yeah, I know.
But the night before that, I saw "FataI Attraction. "
- Oh, yeah. - You know?
She's in the bathtub, you think she's dead...
And then... argh! Yeah. So I didn't want to take any chances.
So I'm in the backyard,
light up a smoke,
try to get some air,
and tout à coup- - All of a sudden.
- All of a sudden, the dead guy's dog jumps on me.
And, I mean, he's mad en tabarnac.
- That's really, really bad.
- Is he bullshitting us?
- I don't know.
- It's true, swear to God. Look, I have a scar.
So I'm bleeding like crazy,
I'm fighting the dog
with my, uh... mains nues.
- Bare hands. - Yeah, that's it.
- Why didn't you just shoot it?
- The dog was only doing its job.
- Exactly.
So last thing I remember, I had the dog in a headlock.
- Oui. - And we both passed out.
A few minutes later, the back-up arrives,
they find the dead guy with handcuffs in the living room
and me and the dog in the backyard,
endormi en cuillère.
- Spooning.
- Lucky dog.
Jonathan?
- If you're such a hotshot cop,
show me where your gun is.
- Search me.
Jonathan?
Argh!
- Dad!
- Argh! - Leave my dad alone!
- Argh!
Tabarnac!
Sorry, kid. Argh!
- Teach me something else.
- Leo et Lea go to schooI.
- Leo... - Et Lea...
- Leo et Lea...
- You all right? - Yeah. That was cooI.
- Thanks! That was great!
- What else? - Long live a free Quebec!
- What's that mean?
- Oh, Jesus!
Bouchard!
- Vive le Québec libre! Oh, long live a free Quebec!
Long live a free Quebec!
Oh, Quebec... uh, Quebec free...
- What the fuck are you doing here?
- Iris, it's for you.
- Of course it's for me. It's my... Hey. Oh, God...
What are you guys doing here? - I saved Dad's life.
- From what?
Cardiac arrest watching curling on TV?
- From Therrien. He's alive, he was in my house.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- I kicked his ass. - He got away.
- You're sure it was him? - Yeah, I'm sure.
- Why would he try to kill you?
- He was trying to kill us!
He had no idea you'd be with my sister.
- So who was in the trunk of my car?
- I don't know, but the body's in MontreaI,
and Therrien is here.
- Last call! Last-
Allô?
- Jeff? - Yes?
- It's Dave. Have you identified the body that blew up in my car?
- I was just working on it,
Do you know how much overtime I'm doing because of you?
It's like a 5,000-piece puzzle that you lend to a cousin
and it came back half-empty, 'cause there's a piece in the sofa,
there's another one stuck to a sock in the dryer-
- Jeff, I don't have time for this.
- If it was a guy in your car,
then the operation was a complete success.
- What are you talking about?
- The guy was a girl. I didn't have a DNA match,
but late yesterday I got some dentaI records.
So I gave her a toothbrush and she's really happy now.
- Jeff, who is it?
- Hold on a sec.
Her name is...
Rita Beaumont. Rita Beaumont.
Not a really interesting name, is it?
- Rita, the barmaid?
Thanks, Jeff.
- Hey, by the way,
you know that...
Rita spelled backwards...
Uh, never mind.
- Thanks, Jeff. - No problem.
- That would've been helpfuI to know.
- Fuck. She was trying to call you, that's why.
Therrien must've known and gotten rid of her.
- No, no, no. Therrien was in the trunk of the car.
He would've had to have broken out of the trunk, stolen a car,
driven back to the bar, grabbed the girI,
grabbed a bomb that he prepared for that purpose,
driven back to your car, put her in the trunk,
and then rigged the bomb?
The show wasn't that long.
- He's not alone.
- Allô?
- Suzie?
- Oui. David?
Nice time to call someone.
- How's everything at home?
- Fine.
You sound strange. Have you been drinking?
- No. No.
It's just... I don't know. I'm a little lonely.
Can I talk to Gabrielle?
- David, she's sleeping.
Like normaI people do at this hour.
- I know... I...
I just need to hear her voice.
- What aren't you telling me?
- Please, Suzie.
- What is it?
- Suzie!
- I'm going, I'm going.
I'm upstairs. She slept in your room.
She misses you too, you know.
Gabrielle...
Gabrielle?
Gabrielle!
David, the door is open! She's gone!
She's not here!
I put her to bed earlier and now she's gone!
David!
David, answer me!
- Hello? - David?
- Who is this? - Oh, it's Detective Ward.
I have a call for Mr. David Bouchard from his daughter.
Is he available?
- If you touch my baby, I'll kill you, motherfucker!
- Your daughter is fine.
Gabrielle, it's your father.
- Daddy, come get me, please! I'm scared!
- Gabrielle!
- Daddy, help me!
- Shut up!
I have nothing against your daughter.
But you are really starting to piss me off!
- What do you want?
- I assume that a smart fellow like you
would know who's next on my list.
Stay out of my way.
Let me do my grand finale.
And after that you'll get your daughter back.
Safe and sound.
- My daughter has nothing to do with this.
Take me instead. - True.
And it wouldn't be right for anything bad to happen to her.
Because of you.
- Suzie...
- What is going to happen?
Tell me, tell me.
What have you done?
Don't touch me.
Get your hands off me!
I want my daughter! Do you understand?!
If he touches her...
If he does anything to her, I never want to see you again!
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Bring back our daughter.
Bring back our daughter.
- Okay.
- Is she okay?
- Salut. - Salut.
- Everything you asked for is in the car.
- Thanks.
- Can I do anything else?
- Stay with Suzie, okay?
- Hey, Mike. - Hey, Stef.
- We have to go.
Let me drive.
- Give me some privacy.
- Okay, boss.
- Hey, is this press conference going to happen or what?
Some of us have deadlines.
If you want us to write about this before next season starts...
- Sorry for the delay, everyone. Mr. Buttman will be here any minute.
- You sure you want to do this? - Remember, it was my idea.
I just don't want to read about it in tomorrow's papers.
- Mr. Arbusto! - Hey, Buttman!
- So nice to talk to you again.
- Everything coming together? - Sure is.
- I don't want you to misunderestimate
how gratefuI I am.
I'm sending you our agreement right now.
You're doing a wonderful thing for hockey.
'Cause I'm gonna make hockey as Texas
as a big, fat American steak.
None of that poison Canadian shit.
- You're going to enjoy having a top hockey team in your state.
I'm busy here!
Just a sec.
You idiots!
Who the hell are you?
- Buttman?
- What's going on?
- What the hell's going on there?!
- Get in the bag. - Buttman?
- In the bag?
- In the bag.
- How does this work?
- Have a look at this.
- Are you talking to me?
Are you talking to me?
Aha!
Are you talking to me?
Me? That's good.
Goddamn it!
FUCK!
Are you talking to me?
- Hip, hip, hip, hip! Go!
- Argh! Ah!
- Good.
What?
- Ah!
- Don't you know who I am?
I'm gonna sue your asses! You can't put me in the trunk of a car!
- Yes, I can.
It's a Quebec tradition.
- Okay, I'm in place.
- Shit!
Hey, hey, hey... - A photo with the children...
- Get away from me!
Take your kids away.
- How rude!
- Take care of your own kids.
- Excusez.
Testing... 1, 2, 3... - What do you think you're doing?
- Police business.
Your attention, please.
Mr. Buttman will not be here.
He's had an unfortunate contretemps,
and therefore,
the press conference is cancelled.
If there's any more information
before tonight's final game, you'll get it.
We will keep you up to date.
- What's this delay about?
Is he trying to make fools of French Canadians?
- Notjust the French. I don't think he much likes Canadians, period.
No further comment. They're all yours.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
...we apologize for the delay.
- How'd I do?
- Great. You're being followed. Don't turn around.
- How many? - One.
The Patriotes mascot.
Lead him towards the garage, I'll follow you.
- Got it.
Okay.
- Ah, for fuck's sake!
FUCK!
Goddamn it!
- Bouchard.
- I told you to stay away.
Do you want one last word with your daughter?
- Wait. I have Buttman.
If you want him, he's yours. AII I want is my daughter.
- You're pushing your luck, David.
- Yeah, yeah. Do we have a deaI?
- The Old Port. The tower at the end of the pier.
You have 15 minutes.
- You could lose yourjob over this.
- I don't give a shit.
- Yeah? - Bring him inside the boat.
- You're not done with me yet, asshole.
- Hey, welcome home, Therrien.
You were born to be a mascot.
- Hey, stop stepping on my taiI for Christ's sake?
- Shut the fuck up!
- Where the fuck is my player?
Stop right there.
Where's Buttman?
- Change in plans: give me my daughter, you and your buddy can go free.
Daddy! - Shhh...
You see, I'm a man of my word.
- Daddy, I don't like it here! - Daddy's here, sweetie.
- Don't cry, baby. It's almost over.
- Oh, you're so cute.
So you think this is a fair trade?
That's not what we agreed on.
You should've brought something valuable to me.
- Fuck...
- Daddy, I don't like it, come get me!
- Close your eyes, Gabrielle!
- Come get me! I don't like this!
- Close your eyes, Gabrielle!
That's it, keep them closed untiI I tell you to open them.
- Throw me your gun.
Now!
- You're fuckin' crazy! - Oh, David...
he was a fucked-up loser I found on the Internet.
He wanted revenge
on those who screwed up his hockey career with the pros.
And me...
I just gave him the tools to do it.
Easy enough.
After that it was easy to get him to kill the other fuckers!
They destroyed our "Great Game. "
- It's just a game, kid.
- Give me your car keys.
I guess Detective Ward has my package?
I hope he's not too far.
- Martin!
Bring him!
- I'm coming!
He won't kill you here.
He needs a crowd and you need a tattoo. Get moving.
- Too long! - Don't touch her.
- Dad!
- In four minutes...
it blows!
- Martin, move!
- We're here!
We're here!
- Give him over. There's a bomb on Gabrielle.
- Walk over there.
Walk over there!
Move!
- Okay, now you give me my daughter.
- Not untiI Detective Ward
drops his gun.
Not yet, David.
Not yet. Don't you push your luck!
Fuck!
- Daddy!
- Martin!
Okay, baby, open your eyes.
You can look at me.
- Take it off, Daddy!
I don't like this!
I'm scared. - I know.
- Move!
- Take it off. Do something!
- I need you to be still. You can't be moving like that.
- Do it!
- I need you...
- Do something. I'm scared!
- We're going to do this together, okay?
- Don't touch it.
It might be booby-trapped.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
Here and here.
It's a pretty simple device.
Bombmaking 101.
- You know what you're talking about?
- I was Bomb Squad before Jonathan was born.
We're gonna have to pull out these two wires simultaneously.
You'll have to do it.
You need two hands.
- Daddy!
- It'll be okay.
- Orange and yellow.
- You sure?
- Three- - Wait, wait...
Okay.
- Three,
two, one...
- I love you. - Pull.
- Move!
Okay. Okay. No, not again!
- Go get him.
- I can't.
- I'll take care of this.
- Go, Daddy.
Go and kick the shit out of him.
Thank you.
Ah!
- Oh, shit!
- Oh...
- Ah!
Ahhhhh!
- Argh!
- Ahhh!
Daddy?
- Wait! - My father!
- Take this.
Call your mother, I'll help your father.
Stay here, okay? We'll be right back for you.
Stay here.
- Dave... look at the state you're in.
You should've taken care of your daughter.
And let me...
take care of Buttman.
- You talk too much.
- No!
Don't!
Don't do it. It's not necessary.
- What? He tried to kill us and our kids. He'll come back.
- All good things come to those who wait.
- What are you talking about?
You didn't...
You can reset those things?
- I prefer to think of it as recycling.
- You sure it'll work?
- We'll soon see.
Man, can that guy run.
- You gotta be fucking kidding me.
- Wow. - Yeah.
Come on! Get me out of here!
- Oh, shit, the penguin.
Gabrielle?
- In conclusion, I would like to put an end to the rumours
that any one Canadian team or another will be moving to the U.S.
I know how important hockey is to you people,
so I am spearheading a rule change to ensure
that no Canadian team will ever have to move from its home city!
No more questions! Thank you. No more questions!
DVD Subtitling: CNST, MontreaI